When Do We Become the Person We Ought to Be?

This summarizes a 557-person survey fielded via Qualtrics in August 2025, funded in part by a Sorin Fellows grant at Notre Dame, exploring how Americans judge their own moral character and how that varies by age and religious engagement. Younger adults were far more likely to report being “very” or “somewhat” far from the person they ought to be, while older adults - especially those 55+ - were much more likely to say they were “pretty close” or “already there.” Older respondents also reported more daily, deliberate efforts to improve character but less frequent rumination about specific actions, suggesting decades of conscious practice can coincide with greater perceived moral arrival and greater willingness to let small lapses go.

Religious practice strongly predicts moral reflection: monthly attenders are much more likely to think about the morality of their actions than non-practicing or non-religious respondents, especially among the young. Combining moral confidence minus reflection shows young religious people doing a lot of soul-searching while feeling less arrived; middle-aged nones grow more content and less scrutinizing; and oldest nones report the highest sense of having “arrived.” Results are self-reported and subjective, and differing religious standards for moral ideals may shape these patterns.