Things that don't bother me as your manager

Engineering manager Emma Bostian lays out 13 concrete behaviors she welcomes rather than penalizes from team members: leaving meetings that aren’t useful, publicly disagreeing with her, coming to 1:1s without an agenda, taking last-minute time off, giving imperfect feedback, not responding to Slack immediately, not being tethered to a desk, saying no to requests, eating during meetings, asking “why are we doing this?”, having occasional unproductive days, interviewing elsewhere, and disagreeing with feedback. Each item includes a short rationale - she’d rather be proven wrong quickly than follow a confident mistake, values honest boundaries and autonomy, and treats feedback as perspective rather than immutable truth.

The list’s substance spells out a managerial philosophy centered on psychological safety, trust, and work-life balance: reclaim time from useless meetings, prioritize meaningful communication over performative compliance, and accept human variability in productivity and career choices. The guidance is practical and permissive, encouraging team members to speak up, set limits, and bring their whole selves to work without fear of repercussion. Reading this gives a clear sense of the expectations and culture a manager like this cultivates and helps decide whether that style fits your needs.