I'm an American raising 2 kids in Italy. Parenting here is completely different

An American mother who moved to Italy in her mid-20s and now raises two children there (an 8-year-old daughter and a 3-year-old son) describes stark contrasts between parenting norms in Italy and those she grew up with in New York. School lunches are a standout: multi-course, locally prepared meals (first-course pasta with vegetables or beans, a protein like meatballs or poached fish, a vegetable side, sometimes dessert) overseen by local cooks or restaurants. Children’s schedules are less regimented than in the US; extracurriculars exist but aren’t pursued to build résumés, and kids are given latitude to choose activities. That greater physical freedom shows up in playground behavior, where parents often supervise less and allow risk-taking that cultivates independence but makes her uneasy given her American safety instincts.

Family and community structures differ sharply: extended family, especially grandparents, play active daily caregiving roles instead of relying on nannies, and small-town communities maintain close-knit vigilance over children. Young adults commonly remain at home until stable employment or marriage, normalizing multigenerational living rather than encouraging early independence. She says she is blending approaches - embracing Italian community, family involvement, and child autonomy while keeping an American emphasis on safety - yet feels culturally in limbo as she navigates parenting across both systems.